Friday, December 14, 2018

Episode 19: Kokanee with Callie Hietala - Gone Squatchin'

I. Introduction

It's probiotic.
Image result for kokanee beer sign

The Alutiiq nation names him as neginla eh while the Bella Coola call him boqs.
The Chinook people refer to him as skookum while the Cree call him wetiko.
The Inuit know him as urayuli, the Lummi nation tell stories about the ts'emekwes, and the Tlingit? Why they thrill their children with whispers of the kushtaka.

Most of us, however, know him by the name given to him by the nations that speak the Halkomelem language, native Americans of British Columbia and northern Washington state.  The name they give him is sasq’ets, a word Anglicized in the 20th Century into the now ubiquitous sasquatch. 

Today, on Pickled Eggs & Cold Beer, we’re talking about the beer most associated with the sasquatch, a beer brewed from the same cold glacial waters that slake the thirst of the hairy man himself, that stealer of clams and fish, knocker of wood, and haunter of old logging camps. 

Today's theme is Bessie Smith's 1929 "Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out." 

II. Our Guest, Callie "Mouthfeel" Hietala

Old pocket carrots.

III. Rubric

BeerAdvocate: 2.54 of 5

RateBeer: 2.13 of 5

Untappd: 2.8 of 5

ABV: 5.0%

Ingredients: We haven't found a clear list of these - the water is local to Creston (mountain spring water, presumably from glacial runoff), and Kokanee press asserts it is made using three types of malt and a blend of three different Pacific North American hops.  We didn't find anything that would make it clear whether it was an adjunct or not.

Cost: We were gifted this beer (thanks Dad!) from some folks traveling through Canada, so we didn't have to pay for it.  That said, after a little research we found out that it tends to list at between nine and ten (US) dollars.  Not bad - we're calling this $$.

IV. Our Reviews and Talking Points

*There seems to be some significant variation between beers - this wasn't a problem but it warranted note.

Appearance: Lightly carbonated, not too much head (in two of our three - Callie's seemed more carbonated); translucent and transparent, yellow-gold.

Aroma: Clayman insists it smells like a 1997-1998 Schaeffer or Meisterbrau - Eric felt that it was nearly without smell.

Flavor: Simple, inoffensive; Callie regarded it as creamy

Mouthfeel: Mildly creamy, light, fairly dry

Authenticity, Marketing, and Other Factors:  While Kokanee is part of one of the giant multinational systems it seemingly has remained connected to its roots, still brewed exclusively in Creston, British Columbia

Overall: Callie gives Kokanee a 3 of 5, Clayman echoes her rating with another 3, and Eric nudges it up slightly with a 3.25.  Overall?  We gave it a 3.1 of 5. 

V. Sponsors

This episode was sponsored by two wonderful local businesses:

Leben Farms of Abingdon, Virginia

Leben Farms is a community supported-agriculture (CSA) program that offers locally grown fresh vegetables in weekly boxes to its members in Southwest Virginia and East Tennessee.  Using organic and regenerative practices to grow nutrient dense food, community-supported agriculture is a food production and distribution system that directly connects farmers and consumers. In short: people buy "shares" of a farm's harvest in advance and then receive a portion of the crops as they're harvested.

Check them out on Facebook or Instagram.


Glade Pharmacy in Glade Spring, Virginia
33472 Lee Hwy, Glade Spring, VA 24340

Locally owned and managed, Glade Pharmacy provides the highest quality pharmaceutical service in the Emory/Glade Spring area.

VI. Plugs

Bristol, Tennessee

Louisville, Kentucky

Kingsport, Tennessee

Abingdon, Virginia

Wolf Hills Brewing
Abingdon, Virginia

Wolf Hills Community School
Abingdon, Virginia
VII. Further Reading and Viewing

Jeff Beer. June 18, 2012. "Kokanee films world’s longest beer commercial." Canadian Business.

Lorne Eckersley. October 26, 2017. "UPDATED: Columbia Brewery bottling plant in Creston will be closing down." Creston Valley Advance.

Bob Weber. August 16, 2015. "Kokanee Beer joins up with science for glacier research and new beer." CBC.

Craig Woolheater.  October 27, 2005.  "Kokanee Beer and Sasquatch: A Long Standing Tradition." Cryptomundo. 

VIII. Selected Advertisements 

c. 1984

c. 1989

IX. It's The Movie Out Here Trailer 

*Note that this movie was marketed as Frostbite! in the US - you can find it right now on Amazon Prime

X. Fishing for Kokanee with Kokanee

Check out this short video from Spilt Milt Productions - to quote their YouTube page:
Spilt Milt Production is a video production company dedicated to recruiting, educating, and entertaining anglers. Our focus is primarily on fishing the Pacific Northwest with a special emphasis on education and kayak angling. 
XI. Clayman's Dad 

*As described in this episode

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